TibKat's Insight's
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Lucky
I was talking with my mother tonight and in doing so it made me want to ask you all… Will parents ever let go of the guilt? Will we let them? My mother feels guilty for many things. She raised eight children and with out a guide book or “self help” book from Barnes & Noble.
Jim and I have had numerous discussions on being better parents than ours were over the years we’ve been together. We both have very different relationships with both of our parents and we want to have even better relationships with our children. We talk about this a lot, even more now that we are hoping to embark on to the path of parenthood.
I have heard from many different friends and family members, how hurt and well in some cases "disappointed" in their parents with the way they raised them. After living a year here and getting closer to my students in this some what of a rural area and the environment that they are in, we had it lucky. I can’t begin to describe the insanity that most of them live in.
Lucky it is. I was lucky that I had the parents I have. I was damn lucky to have the mother I had and have. Growing up we all have had it bad in some way. We weren’t loved enough or were loved too much. Each one of you has your own story but it is what we do with the past and our experiences that help us shape the parent we want to be.
I don’t need nor want an apology from my mother. I know she is sorry for the mistakes she made. I want her to feel free and know that I will go and do the best I can because of her. I am a better person because of her.
What I want is more understanding and acceptance, not ignorance. I want us as a generation to be able to move forward. Most parents do the best they can with the tools they have, we have the opportunity to now do even better. This does not mean we won’t fall or make mistakes but we can do better, we will. We are so lucky!
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