TibKat's Insight's
Friday, April 28, 2006
Hysteria
I remember standing in my bedroom looking outside my window with my two older brother’s right by me going into hysterics the first time I saw hailstones fall from the sky. In my little mind I thought the world was ending. I don’t remember how old I was, I just remember the sheer feeling of fear that encompassed my body that my world, my family’s world, the world, was ending. I remember my mother then by my side holding me, trying to calm me down, explaining that it was hail. I think it was the word given to the huge golf sized ice balls falling out of the sky, hail. I didn’t want to go to “hail”.
I have had these moments all through out my life. Hysteria. My family and husband have been first hand witnesses of this phenomenon. I suppose I have been scared that all the things I care about and love will eventually be taken from me. When I feel as if I have lost all control to manage a situation I find myself falling into hysterics.
I suffered from “Night Terror’s” when I was young. I would literally be asleep and get out of bed because something was chasing me and run to my mother’s bed side begging her to help me, to make it go away. I suffered from night terror’s until I was sixteen.
This has manifested in many ways through out my life. It has scared many people that I love and care for.
I now know this is something real,
Hysteria is a diagnostic label applied to a state of mind, one of unmanageable fear or emotional excesses. The fear is often centered on a body part, most often on an imagined problem with that body part (disease is a common complaint). People who are "hysterical" often lose self-control due to the overwhelming fear.
I know that it is something I have suffered from through out my life. I feel that I am now better at managing this fear. I recognize it and that was my first step forward in dealing with it. I have made numerous errors in my life, some attributed to this, not the reason for my mistakes but more an understanding as to why I have reacted as I have.
"Illusions commend themselves to us because they save us pain and allow us to enjoy pleasure instead. We must therefore accept it without complaint when they sometimes collide with a bit of reality against which they are dashed to pieces." ~Sigmund Freud
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